Negotiation touches every part of our lives. Relationships in business and in our personal lives are negotiated. And the skills to do it effectively can often mean the difference between getting what you want or losing out. You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate!
In the first section of the book, How to be a Great Negotiator, written by property economist, investor and developer Neville Berkowitz, the characteristic traits of a great negotiator are explored in short, bite-sized nuggets of advice.
Over the next 132 days, we will bring you the traits needed to succeed at the art of negotiating.
(Courtesy of PersonalEmpowerment.co)
Are you comfortable in your own skin? Do you trust yourself, your skills, and your ability to deal effectively with what life brings you? Have you proven yourself capable by thorough testing under real-life conditions? If so, then you have developed a quality or state of mind called confidence, which is different than the cocky arrogance that often masquerades as confidence, covering up deep-rooted insecurities.
True confidence is neither innate nor forced. We are not born with it, and we cannot buy it. But as we develop competence, skill, and even mastery in any area, confidence grows accordingly. As we face and master the challenges and learn the lessons of life, and as we master our own fears, emotions, and reactions, and develop self-discipline, self-control, and self-worth, confidence infuses our presence, our behavior, and our actions. And this confidence attracts, inspires, and influences others.
Confidence in any particular negotiation derives from knowing your product or service in depth, from prior preparation and practice of your negotiation skills and tactics, from having a well-conceived strategic plan for negotiating in general, and this negotiation in particular. Visualisation, relaxation, meditation, prayer, and affirmations can also help you prepare, focus, and psych yourself up prior to a negotiation.
Confidence is progressively improved by analysing each negotiation you do; by identifying what you did right and what you did wrong; by learning from failures and successes; by creating clear goals for improvement in the next negotiations; and by having successful negotiations under your belt as a result of doing all of the above.
Confidence is expressed in your presence, your appearance, your posture; in your initial greeting and overall manner; in your choice of words and tone of voice. It is communicated in your attentive, straightforward glance. It is expressed in your positive body language and expressive gestures. It is a mindset you cultivate and maintain, an energy you exude and conduct in your own unique manner.
How you sit and where you sit at the negotiation table can be important. But real confidence trumps all props, protocols, logistics, seating arrangements etc., in any negotiation. (That said, any props and aids, such as a notepad, pen, laptop, marker board, projector and screen, etc., should be assembled quickly and efficiently, or set up prior to the meeting.)
And finally, there is a deeper confidence of the spirit that comes from using your skills, services, and products to benefit others and contribute value to their lives.