Are you talking to the man in the mirror?
Negotiation touches every part of our lives. Relationships in business and in our personal lives are negotiated. And the skills to do it effectively can often mean the difference between getting what you want or losing out. You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate!
In the first section of the book, How to be a Great Negotiator, written by property economist, investor and developer Neville Berkowitz, the characteristic traits of a great negotiator are explored in short, bite-sized nuggets of advice.
Over the next few months, we will bring you the traits needed to succeed at the art of negotiating.
(Courtesy of PersonalEmpowerment.co)
Rapport builds connection and trust based in empathy and commonality. It can be as basic as two parties recognising that they both have quotas to meet, mortgages to pay, kids to feed, spouses to please, etc. In the simplest terms, rapport begins and ends with a smile. It may be there in a first encounter, effortlessly. It develops out of mutual appreciation and respect. Rapport is a feeling of mutual harmony that engenders enthusiasm in another and brings two parties into an inner circle of trust.
You can create general rapport by being graciously present with others and treating them with simple courtesy and respect. But with certain people you will develop a deeper rapport as a special bond. You may have much or little in common. Rapport doesn’t depend on similarity of personality or interests. It is a kind of chemistry between personalities, as mysterious as love; it happens when it happens.
People bonded by rapport become comfortable together and bring out the best in each other. They often unconsciously mirror each other in terms of body language, voice patterns, facial expressions etc. A great negotiator will recognise this mirroring effect as a sign that a good rapport has developed between the parties. Such rapport often greases the wheels in your favour.
You can develop a working rapport with just about anyone. But you can’t have natural rapport with everyone. There will always be people with whom you feel awkward or uncomfortable, or whom you find unpleasant. In such cases, simply accept it, knowing it doesn’t have to be an obstacle in the negotiation. Then just be your professional, gracious self and proceed with the negotiation.