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How to be the person you want to be

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Negotiation touches every part of our lives. Relationships in business and in our personal lives are negotiated. And the skills to do it effectively can often mean the difference between getting what you want or losing out. You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate!

In the first section of the book, How to be a Great Negotiator, written by property economist, investor and developer Neville Berkowitz, the characteristic traits of a great negotiator are explored in short, bite-sized nuggets of advice.
Over the next few months, we will bring you the traits needed to succeed at the art of negotiating.

(Courtesy of PersonalEmpowerment.co)

116 Value system

A value system gives you a foundation of principles and perspectives that constitute your ideal of character, and allows you to increasingly approach that ideal in your real life. This gives you a sense of inner worth and strength – the confidence and “rightness” of a clear conscience.

If your value system isn’t reflected in your behaviour and established through your actions, it isn’t really your value system yet; it’s just a bunch of good ideas from which you derive no benefit. For example, to value integrity but to behave dishonestly creates an inner conflict. Instead of the strength and confidence that integrity provides, the inner conflict and insecurity that come with hypocrisy will tend to create outer conflicts and complications with others. Needless to say, lack of congruency between stated values and lived values is a serious handicap to a negotiator.

Your value system, ethics, and morals are both hereditarily and environmentally influenced; they evolve from both nature and nurturing. But there is a spiritual core in each human being, prior to nature and nurture, that instinctively knows right from wrong. It is the source of conscience, the part of us that loves and needs love, that desires to belong, to be good, to excel. There is also a part in each of us that is fearful, selfish, greedy, self-centered etc. And these two parts often have conflicting views and impulses.

Great negotiators consistently choose the path of conscience. They strive hard to establish and maintain a value system that is ethical, humane and fair. They are justifiably proud, yet humble about who they are and what they stand for. With such a value system intact, they can walk into any room at any time and face anyone with their heads held high, knowing they are standing on a solid foundation of right actions, good works, fair dealings, and ethical principles. This earns them the admiration, respect, and trust of those with whom they interact and do business.

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