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How to negotiate with the guy everyone likes

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Negotiation touches every part of our lives. Relationships in business and in our personal lives are negotiated. And the skills to do it effectively can often mean the difference between getting what you want or losing out. You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate!

In the second section of the book, How to be a Great Negotiator, written by property economist, investor and developer Neville Berkowitz, the 26 different personality traits of negotiators you are likely to encounter in the course of your negotiating career are identified. Over the next few weeks we will recommend ways of dealing with each type of negotiator.

(Courtesy of PersonalEmpowerment.co)

18 The socialiser

Socialisers are enthusiastic, persuasive, gregarious, jovial, and often very pleasant to be around. These negotiators use their likeable, often charming, personas to inspire warm, friendly feelings in the other party. They operate best in formal and informal social settings such as parties, workshops, corporate events, and restaurants. They think well on their feet and are often optimistic, creative problem solvers, as well as risk-takers. They are generally good with individuals and groups. And they seem to embody many attributes you would look for in a friend. They are cheerful, engaging, spontaneous, fun, interested, and supportive. They love to tell stories and jokes, and to laugh with others.

But, with socialisers, what you see isn’t necessarily what you get. These charming and extraverted negotiators have turned schmoozing into a negotiating strategy. Once they establish a friendly, easy-going connection with you, they are able to naturally steer the conversation onto their negotiating track without seeming pushy or in control. The liabilities of negotiating with socialisers is their very sociability. The environment where they feel the most comfortable can also be the most distracting. They may have one eye on you and another eye on the passing parade, the woman or man at the next table, the buffet, the hors d’oeuvres, or the wet bar. They are easily carried away by their own enthusiasm and easily distracted by other people and conversations.

When negotiating with socialisers, try to get them in a quiet corner or table, or arrange to meet them in your office or in a low-key place where they will not be distracted by the surroundings, and perhaps where alcohol is not served. It’s fine to establish a connection and rapport with this type in a social or festive environment, but serious negotiating with these types is best done one-on-one.

If you are a socialiser, know your strengths and weaknesses and take them into account over the course of any negotiation or business relationship.


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